WEDDING BELLS MAGAZINE - JANUARY 2001 Interview with Reverend Karyl Miller by Regina Lynn Preciado Wedding Bells Mag: Quick logistics -- please choose a label that describes where you fall in the spectrum of clerical opinion   Rev. Karyl: I'm an Emmy winning sitcom writer, non-denominational minister,  and Jewish mother who marries people when I'm not too busy writing. I do it on skates. at sea, and in the air. So far I've only married friends or friends of friends, who know I have fantasies about being a religious leader and that I'm funny. They call me Reverend Karyl (which is pronounced Carol). Wedding Bells Mag: How do you feel about the state of marriage today? Is it different from 10 or 20 years ago? Rev. Karyl: Couples who get married today are more committed, because it's easier just to live together now than it was 20 years ago. Women can make their own money. Men can make their own Lean Cuisine. Wedding Bells Mag:  Are weddings becoming excuses for pageantry and parties, or do couples take them deeply and seriously?   Rev. Karyl: Bonding with the love of your life sounds to me like an excellent excuse for a pageant or party! Just because you have fun at your wedding doesn't mean you don't take the marriage seriously.   Wedding Bells Mag: Do couples today marry for the same reasons their parents and grandparents did? Is it for the "right" reasons? What are the "right" reasons? Rev. Karyl: I know a couple who waited to get married till their teenage children insisted! Even then, the woman only agreed after the kids promised ( in writing!), not to wear their pierced nose and eyebrow studs to the wedding.   Wedding Bells Mag:  Are you seeing trends in the weddings you officiate -- interfaith, interracial, same-sex, older, younger, 2nd timers, etc.? Rev. Karyl:  So far I've only had second-timers. Marriage is a different kind of commitment when you're older. When you're twenty and you get married, babies are a definite possibility; when you're over forty, babies aren't a definite possibility, but diapers are. Wedding Bells Mag: Do you get more or less requests to modify or customize the vows now than in the past? Do you encourage or discourage such requests?   Rev. Karyl: Thank God nobody is vowing to obey anybody anymore! Most couples write their own vows. I think it's romantic and so much more personal than it used to be when vows were generic. The hardest thing about officiating at weddings is I always want to cry at weddings and I've got to stifle it. Wedding Bells Mag: What's your best advice for an engaged couple?   Rev. Karyl: When you've set the date, log on to my web site SanDiegoWeddingVows.com or E-mail Rev.Karyl@SanDiegoWeddingVows.com and let's see if we can get together about your getting together!   Wedding Bells Mag:Thanks so much for your time! Rev. Karyl :  My pleasure!
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